WANTED:

Katie Lynn Birchard, AKA "Hala Pickford" has an ACTIVE Arrest Warrant, and in conjunction with Felony Charges, is WANTED in the State of California. There is currently a FIVE-THOUSAND DOLLAR REWARD for information leading to her arrest. Birchard should be considered Armed and Dangerous. If you spot Katie Lynn Birchard, immediately call 911. Do NOT approach her.

Have You Been A Victim Of Evelyn Zumaya, Katie Lynn Birchard, Hala Pickford, Hala Kitty?

Send us your story at: EXPOSEKatieLynnBirchard@gmail.com

Monday, August 15, 2011

Affairs Valentino - The UN True Story of Rudolph Valentino (Evelyn Clarkson Zumaya)

To spew out allegations or criminal activity, harassment and potential litigation seems to be Evelyn Clarkson Zumaya's hobby as of late.  Whether defending fugitive, Hala Pickford or harassing David Bret, Zumaya seems to be Hell-Bent on gaming Google's search index with false reviews and self-glorification regarding her newest trash novel, "Affairs Valentino."

The aforementioned "book" is currently not for sale anywhere.  To further clarify:  You CAN NOT buy "Affairs Valentino."  You can't buy a new copy, you can't buy a used copy.   Amazon.com as well as Barnes and Noble have all pulled it from their websites, citing "quality and content issues" as their reason for doing so.  Zumaya, instead of revisiting the project and cleaning up the infinite inconsistencies and potentially libelous portions, would rather "hide" in various "exotic locations" and bang away at her keyboard.

Zumaya's publisher, Katie Lynn Birchard, AKA "Hala Pickford," has now been on the run from the law for nearly 2 months.  The Burbank Police Department is currently following up on leads to her whereabouts, as well as investigating individuals associated with her business and person.  Being a fugitive from justice, Pickford faces swift arrest and jail time upon her apprehension.  If Pickford was so innocent, as Evelyn Zumaya claims that she is, why hasn't Pickford turned herself into the authorities to defend herself?  Evelyn Zumaya is well aware that her publisher is wanted on Felony Charges, but to admit so would be career suicide.  I use the term "career" even more loosely than the saggy skin hanging from her skeletal frame.

Zumaya spends all day trying to cyber bully David Bret, but refuses to answer any of the questions regarding "Affairs Valentino" and why it contains so many contradicting points, factual errors and physical quality issues.  When concerned Silent-Film buffs cornered both Zumaya and Pickford publicly regarding these glaring errors and specifically invited them to respond, it was crickets... Not a peep from either of them.  Why, you ask?  They know damned well that "Affairs Valentino" is a work of fan-fiction and the only words of praise coming in are those spouted from Zumaya herself.  I find it ESPECIALLY interesting that "Pickford" recently erased a post on Nitrateville, in which she admits to knowing about her arrest warrant for "Failure To Appear" as well as admitting factual errors contained in the book. Don't worry, we'll be posting a screenshot of the post very soon.

Again, I ask you Evelyn, where is your mighty and powerful new book?  If this book is the greatest book ever written, why on Earth has it been banned from being sold anywhere?  If it's the most factual book on Valentino ever written, why are there so many glaring factual errors contained within the cheap outer cover?  You talk about "brisk" sales but do you really expect anyone to believe that?  Define "brisk," Evelyn?  Exactly how many copies of "Affairs Valentino" did you REALLY sell in the mere days it was available for purchase?  You do realize that it is very public and common knowledge that your book is factually flawed, overpriced, cheaply manufactured, sensationalized fan-fiction, correct?

Now, please don't take this the wrong way. You do realize, however, that you ARE indeed creeping up on 63 years old?  You realize that you are spending the last quality years of your life taking advantage of a girl whom you, yourself declared to be mentally ill.  Yes, Evelyn Zumaya - you said that.  She's nearly 40 years your junior, and you are doing all this in the desperate hope to sell a book that you spent over 10 years romanticizing; a book that has floundered completely.  You do understand that there is a good reason that no reputable publishing house would touch it, right?  You realize that "Affairs Valentino" is the laughing stock of the silent-film world and that your association with "Hala Pickford" has only given you less credibility than you may have ever hoped for?

You also realize that your online reputation drops like a rock on a daily basis?  "Hala Pickford" has spent years of her life making sure that her victims names are tied to negativity, methodically gaming online search engines.  The irony that you are both in the same situation now is quite, well... ironic.  The only difference is instead of fabrications, blatant lies and sensationalized mis truths, you are a victim of your own game.  You've been caught in your own snare.

You consistently claim to be done responding to the "cultists," but everyday you post some new machination of shit regarding your own book, your "flawless character" and your "angelic" publisher.  Lies, Lies, Lies. Evelyn Zumaya, we are calling you out as the phony that you are.  Your book is no more factual than Kenneth Anger's novels.  If you put a Kenneth Anger, Evelyn Zumaya and "Hala Pickford" novel side-by-side, you'd be hard pressed to have any real Valentino expert to guess which one contained more fabrications.

You can't demand respect, Evelyn.  You have to earn it.  If you've learned anything from watching the social, mental and physical demise of "Hala Pickford," learn that lesson, and fast.  "Hala Pickford" IS going to jail.  She IS going to face Felony Charges as well as a gaggle of Misdemeanor Charges and she IS going to face the music for her years of court proven unethical behaviors.  You're the only one that seems to think any different.  Even the good and most patient judge has finally thrown the book at her.  She can't use the "young girl" excuse any more than you can continue to use the "old woman" antic.

Until next time,

The EXPOSE "Hala Pickford" Team

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